Poem About Homework Excuses

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“My doggy ate my homework.

He chewed it up,” I said.

But when I offered my excuse

My teacher shook her head.

I saw this wasn’t going well.

I didn’t want to fail.

Before she had a chance to talk,

I added to the tale:

“Before he ate, he took my work

And tossed it in a pot.

He simmered it with succotash

Till it was piping hot.

“He scrambled up my science notes

With eggs and bacon strips,

Along with sautéed spelling words

And baked potato chips.

“He then took my arithmetic   

And had it gently fried.

He broiled both my book reports   

With pickles on the side.

“He wore a doggy apron

As he cooked a notebook stew.

He barked when I objected.

There was nothing I could do.”

“Did he wear a doggy chef hat?”

She asked me with a scowl.

“He did,” I said. “And taking it

Would only make him growl.”

My teacher frowned, but then I said   

As quickly as I could,

“He covered it with ketchup,   

And he said it tasted good.”

“A talking dog who likes to cook?”   

My teacher had a fit.

She sent me to the office,   

And that is where I sit.

I guess I made a big mistake   

In telling her all that.

’Cause I don’t have a doggy.   

It was eaten by my cat.

I started on my homework
but my pen ran out of ink.
My hamster ate my homework.
My computer’s on the blink.

I accidentally dropped it
in the soup my mom was cooking.
My brother flushed it down the toilet
when I wasn’t looking.

My mother ran my homework
through the washer and the dryer.
An airplane crashed into our house.
My homework caught on fire.

Tornadoes blew my notes away.
Volcanoes struck our town.
My notes were taken hostage
by an evil killer clown.

Some aliens abducted me.
I had a shark attack.
A pirate swiped my homework
and refused to give it back.

I worked on these excuses
so darned long my teacher said,
“I think you’ll find it’s easier
to do the work instead.”

Copyright © 2007. All Rights Reserved.

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